Hugs Heal - Part II

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blogpost called "Hugs Heal - So Hug Like You Mean It". In that post I shared the hugs that have impacted me most in my life. At the time, there were only around 16 hugs that had etched their memory deep into my soul. 


On July 11th, 2012, my world changed forever when my beautiful 16 year old daughter Amanda took her own life and, with that devastating event, the number of significant hugs that I have received and have given has become uncountable.  Hugs came to us immediately from coworkers, neighbors, relatives, church members, friends of our family, and friends of our daughters. Prayers and hugs were sent out across Twitter with a #HugsHeal hashtag and Facebook wall notifications. Friends of Friends, who didn't even know us sent out their hugs and prayers and I felt strengthened by them all. Strangers who understood our grief from having endure the same dire circumstances and strangers who had never experienced the loss of a child, but knew it would feel almost unsurvivable without love from others; strangers or not. 


In our LDS faith, as in many others, when someone passes the congregation pulls together to provide love, support, and meals. Lots and lots of meals. With each meal that is dropped off, I could almost see the remnants of tears that spilled onto their aprons as they prepared nourishment for our family using ingredients of love, friendship, hope, and pain. One of my co-workers came by the day after Amanda's passing, knowing that our home would be filled with teenagers coming to grieve, pay respects, and heal each other, she brought tons of snacks and drinks. When Amanda's friends came, we were prepared and I was extremely grateful. Friends and family came from near and far to hold us. My friend Lara, who I mention in my Hugs Heal blog, even organized my kitchen while our family friend Mandy J. cleaned up. Others stopped by to volunteer their services, even if it meant walking our three dogs. Church members who served their mission in our area and who had become a part of our family came too. We had visitors from North Carolina, Texas, Utah, BC, and both Northern and Southern California... all to wrap their arms around us to tell us we are not alone. Donations also poured in to help with the funeral expenses, taking a huge burden off our shoulders so we could focus on the healing process with our two older daughters. 


I don't think I could have made it through without all of you. No one should ever have to experience a loss of any kind alone. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, a family pet, or friend, we should all learn to reach out to one another and give what we can of ourselves. My daughter Amanda was a very happy girl who had a brief moment of despair.  Let this be a reminder to all of us to love deeply. My daughter was very loved and she loved deeply. We know she did not intend for the outcome to be this final, but it can not be changed. We must Carry On and live worthily so we can all be reunited again. Think about your decisions before you act. Choose the Right (CTR). 


I feel like I have so much writing to do, but my heart will only let me get it out in pieces. Bare with me. Love Me. Hug Me. #hugsheal